Friday, September 27, 2013

Pieces of Me

This post is prompted by Lisa-Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday. Lisa-Jo encouraged us to share our truths with her today. Here are a few raw, real pieces of me.

Today's word is: TRUE

I know this much to be true...

I feel inadequate.

I feel like I don't do enough. That I can't live up enough to expectations. Mine. Yours. Theirs.

I become depressed, anxious, panicked when I feel overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed by a messy house, landscaping that needs tending to, house repairs that don't get done...
the pile of laundry on my bed - clean, yet unfolded. And the dirty laundry piling up in the closet. 

Overwhelmed by the demands of two, precious little girls. Overwhelmed by the whining and the tantrums. Overwhelmed by the sensory issues. Overwhelmed by the mornings.  Oh, friends, the mornings are not kind.

I am overwhelmed by the overwhelmness of it all. (Yes, I just made that word up).

I don't want my children and family to remember the messiness of the house and my inability to keep up with it all.  I don't want to be the mom who loses her temper, her cool, her calm too quickly.I don't want a life that feels like I'm always rushing around. And in the end, at the end of the day, feels like I didn't do enough.

I feel old. My body feels worn out, tired. Gray hairs are multiplying as fast as that pile of dirty laundry.

I want to make this life matter. I want it to be as meaningful as possible. I want to feel accomplished. With myself, as a wife, as a mother, as a family member, as a friend...

My life is full of blessings. Through the piles of both clean and dirty laundry, overflowing toilets, the cobwebs in the corners of a room, the toys spilled out all over the playroom floor, the whining, the tantrums, the difficult mornings in which I'm lucky if I've brushed my own hair that day...I need to remember the blessings. Time goes too quickly, I've learned.

I need to wrap myself more around the things that matter and soak them up.

I know this much to be true.

1 comment:

Mary Hill said...

Wrap yourself up in what matters. I love your thoughts here because I can so relate. Glad to meet you through the Five Minute Friday hop.

Mary-andering Creatively

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